I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
