so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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