Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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