I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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