A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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