it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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