What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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