I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So drunk its hurt
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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