I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
