Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
