dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
