Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
