That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
