so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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