the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
