There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
