When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Found the puke drawer
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
