Do you still have your period?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
