she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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