bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
