so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
