your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this boner is exhausting
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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