Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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