She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
