You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
