I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
