So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
