she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
