The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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