The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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