we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
