remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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