kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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