I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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