On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
