so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
