so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
