I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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