i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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