I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize