Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
