Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you never un-have a 4some
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
