i jhust puked up my retainher.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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