Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
