Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
