a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
