question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
