Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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