i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
