If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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