Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
