So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
