Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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