Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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