i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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