This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
