This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
