wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
