Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
