Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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