There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
this is an emotional support booty call
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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