You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
