Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
