On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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