I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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