I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
