Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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